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School blackboard saying, "Welcome To Our School" is title graphic for this fun page of school jokes.

School Jokes word graphic

You'll get a kick outta this animated pencil! :o)

TEACHER: Didn't you promise to behave?

STUDENT: Yes, sir.

TEACHER: And didn't I promise to punish you if you didn't?

STUDENT: Yes, sir, but since I broke my promise, you don't have to keep yours.

Plain ole pencil ... no kicks here.

TEACHER: Tony, go to the map and find North America.

TONY: Here it is!

TEACHER: Correct. Now, class, who discovered America?


"What in the world are you doin', girl?

TEACHER: Nichole, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.


Another happy-to-be-back-in-school kid.  Yeah, Right!!

SUBSTITUTE TEACHER: Are you chewing gum?

LITTLE NIKKI: No, I'm Nikki Marie.

This girl definitely doesn't go to our school.  No belly buttons allowed here!

LYNZEY: Teacher, would you punish me for something I didn't do?

TEACHER: Of course not.

LYNZEY: Good, because I didn't do my homework.

School locker room graphic.

TEACHER: Timmy, how can one person make so many mistakes in one day?
TIMMY: I get up early.


TEACHER: How old were you on your last birthday?


TEACHER: How old will you be on your next birthday?


TEACHER: That's impossible.

STUDENT: No, it isn't, teacher. TODAY is my birthday, and I'm eight.

Now this is a happy kid ... short, but happy.

TEACHER: Josh, why do you always get so dirty?

JOSH: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.

School ahead.  Go slow. Be late for class. OK, so the sign MIGHT not say exactly that.

TEACHER: Why are you late?

TYLER: Because of the sign.

TEACHER: What sign?

TYLER: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow". That's what I did.

This teen girl is totally innocent.  TOTALLY!

TEACHER: Alexis, I hope I didn't see you looking at Kiara's  paper.

ALEXIS: I hope you didn't either.

Uh Oh Looks like this kid is UPSET ...big time!

BOBBY: I don't think I deserve a zero on this test.

TEACHER: I agree, but it's the lowest mark I can give you.

Report card?  What report card, mama?

MOTHER: Why did you get such a low mark on that test?

JUNIOR: Because of absence.

MOTHER: You mean you were absent on the day of the test?

JUNIOR: No, but the kid who sits next to me was.

RANDY: Dad, can you write in the dark?

FATHER: I think so. What do you want me to write?

RANDY: Your name on this report card.

School teacher

TEACHER: Well, at least there's one thing I can say about your son.

FATHER: What's that?

TEACHER: With grades like these, he couldn't be cheating.

School girl standing at her locker, waiting for someone who knows a good joke.

TEACHER: In this box, I have a 10-foot snake.

SHANA: You can't fool me, teacher. Snakes don't have feet.

school glue

HYGIENE TEACHER: How can you prevent diseases caused by biting insects?

LESTER: Don't bite any.


TEACHER: If you received $10 from 10 people, what would you get?

ANNE: A new bike.

chalk board

TEACHER: If you had one dollar and you asked your father for another, how many dollars would you have?

JOHNNY: One dollar.

TEACHER (sadly): You don't know your arithmetic.

JOHNNY (sadly): You don't know my father.

TEACHER: If I had seven apples in one hand and eight apples in the other, what would I have?

RICHARD: Big hands!

"Isn't the principal a dummy!" said a boy to a girl.

"Say, do you know who I am?" asked the girl.


"I'm the principal's daughter."

"And do you know who I am?" asked the boy.

"No," she replied.

"Thank goodness!"  

School house page divider

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<BGSOUND SRC="midi/school.mid" LOOP="10">
"School Days"
Sequencer: Unknown