Quick Quips and Quotes
Points To Ponder
*Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?
*If a word were misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know?
*If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words?
*Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?
*Why does "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing?
*Why does "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing?
*Why do 'tug' boats push their barges?
*Why are they called "stands" when they are made for sitting?
*Why is it called "after dark" when it really is "after light"?
*Doesn't "expecting the unexpected" make the unexpected expected?
*Why are 'wise man' and 'wise guy' opposites?
*Why do 'overlook' and 'oversee' mean opposite things?
*Why is phonics not spelled the way it sound?
*If work is so terrific, why do they have to pay you to do it?
*If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
*If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
*If you are cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?
*Why is bra singular and panties plural?
*Why do you press harder
on the buttons of a remote control
*Why do we put suits in garment bags and garments in a suitcase?
*Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?
*Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
*Why do they call it a TV set, when you only get one?
*How come wrong numbers are never busy?
*Do people in Australia call the rest of the world "up over"?
*Does that screwdriver belong to Philip?
*Can a stupid person be a smart-ass?
*Does killing time damage eternity?
*Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
*Why is it called lipstick if you can still move your lips?
*Why is it that nightfall's but daybreaks?
*Why is the third hand on the watch called a second hand?
*Why is it that when you're
driving and looking for an address,
**Why is lemon juice made with artificial
*Are part-time bandleaders semiconductors?
*Can you buy an entire chess set in a pawnshop?
*Daylight savings time - why are they saving it and where do they keep it?
*Did Noah keep his bees in archives?
*Do jellyfish get gas from eating jellybeans?
*Do pilots take crash-courses?
*Do stars clean themselves with meteor showers?
*Do you think that when they asked George
*Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?
*Have you ever seen a toad on a toadstool?
*How can there be self-help "groups"?
*How do you get off a nonstop flight?
*How do you write zero in Roman numerals?
*How many weeks are there in a light year?
*If a jogger runs at the speed of sound, can he still hear his Walkman?
*If athletes get athlete's foot, do astronauts get mistletoe?
*If Barb's so popular, why do you have to buy all her friends?
*If cats and dogs didn't have fur would we still pet them?
*If peanut butter cookies
are made from peanut butter,
*If space is a vacuum, who changes the bags?
*If swimming is good for
your shape, then why do the
*If tin whistles are made out of tin, what do they make fog horns out of?
*If white wine goes with fish, do white grapes go with sushi?
*If you can't drink and drive, why do bars have parking lots?
*If you jog backwards, will you gain weight?
*Why do they call it "chili" if it's hot?
*Why do we sing "Take
me out to the ball game"
*Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
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are either created by me, or believed to be from the