What's
a haunted chicken?
A poultry-geist.
What's big and
gray and wears a mask at the theater?
The Elephantom of the
Opera
*****
What's
big and green and goes "Oink, Oink?"
Frankenswine.
*****
What's
Dracula's
favorite flavor of ice cream?
Vein-illa.
*****
What's
it like
to be kissed by a vampire?
It's a pain in the neck.
*****
What's
the best
way to catch an ear of corn?
Use a cobweb.
*****
When
do ghosts
usually appear?
Just before someone screams.
*****
Where
do ghosts
mail their letters?
At the ghost office
*****
Where
do most
werewolves live?
In Howllywood, California.
*****
Where
do you take a ghost who's backed into a lawn mower?
To a
liquor store. That's where they retail spirits.
*****
Where
does a
ghost go on vacation?
Mali-boo.
Where does a
one-armed man shop?
At a second hand store.
*****
Where
does
Dracula usually eat his lunch?
At the casketeria.
*****
Which
building
does Dracula visit in New York?
The Vampire State Building.
*****
Which
songs does
Dracula hate?
"You Are My Sunshine" and "Sunshine on my
Shoulders."
*****
Who
was the most
famous French skeleton?
Napoleon bone-apart.
*****
Who
was the most
famous ghost detective?
Sherlock Moans.
*****
Who
was the most
famous skeleton detective?
Sherlock Bones.
*****
Who
was the most famous witch detective?
Warlock Holmes.
*****
Why
are so few
ghosts arrested?
It's hard to pin anything on them.
*****
Why
did the
cannibal rush over to the cafeteria?
He heard children were
half price.
Why
did the game warden arrest the ghost?
He didn't have a
haunting license.
*****
Why
did the ghost cross the road?
To get to "THE OTHER SIDE"
*****
Why
did the
ghost go into the bar?
For the boos.
*****
Why
did the
ghost starch her sheet?
She wanted everyone to be scared stiff.
*****
Why
did the
vampire give his girlfriend a blood test?
To see if she was
his type.
*****
Why
didn't the skeleton cross the road?
He had no guts.
*****
Why
didn't the skeleton dance at the party?
He had no body to
dance with.
*****
Why
do demons and ghouls hang out together?
Because demons are a
ghoul's best friend.
*****
Why
do mummies make excellent spies?
They're good at keeping
things under wraps.
*****
Why
do witches fly on brooms?
Because vacuum cleaners are too
heavy.
Why
do you always see ghosts & demons together?
Because
demons are a ghoul's best friend.
*****
Why
doesn't anybody like Dracula?
He has a bat temper.
*****
Why
don't
mummies take vacations?
They're afraid they'll relax and
unwind.
*****
What
kind of key opens a casket?
A skeleton key
*****
Why
were there screams coming from the kitchen ?
The cook was
beating the eggs.
*****
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