<BGSOUND SRC="midi/thehaunting.mid" LOOP="10">
Midi: "The Haunting"
Sequencer:  Unknown



Qucik Quips



Qucik Quips


Did you hear about the cannibal who was expelled from school?
He was buttering up his teacher.

*****

Did you hear about the guy that lost his left arm and leg in a car crash?
He's all right now.

*****

Have you seen Quasimodo?
I have a hunch he's back!

*****

How can you tell that a vampire likes baseball?
He turns into a bat every night.
*****

How can you tell when a vampire has been in a bakery?
All the jelly has been sucked out of the jelly doughnuts.

*****

How do you fix a jack-o-lantern?
With a pumpkin patch.

*****

How does a girl vampire flirt?
She bats her eyes.

*****

What did mama cannibal said to baby cannibal when he told her that he really liked his grandfather?
"Would you like another piece?"

*****

What did the cannibal do when he saw an "All you can eat" restaurant?
He had two waiters and a busboy.

*****

What did the french fries dress up as for Halloween?
Masked potatoes.


What did the little ghost have in his rock collection?
Tombstones.

*****

What did the mother ghost say to the baby ghost?
"Don't spook until you're spooken to."

*****

What did the skeleton say to the bartender?
I'd like a beer and a mop!

*****

What did the skeleton say while riding his Harley?
I'm bone to be wild.

*****

What do baby ghosts wear on their feet?
Boo-ties

*****

What do ghosts and goblins drink on Halloween?
Ghoul-aid.

*****

What do ghosts put on top of an ice cream sundae?
Whipped scream.

*****

What do ghosts serve for dessert?
I Scream.
*****

What do little ghosts drink?
Evaporated milk.

*****

What do sea monsters eat for lunch?
Fish and ships.


What do witches put on their hair?
Scare spray.

*****

What do you call a ghost in a torn sheet?
A holy terror.

*****

What do you call a ghost with a broken leg?
Hoblin Goblin.

*****

What do you call a little monster's parents?
Mummy and deady.

*****

What do you call a monster with no neck?
The Lost Neck Monster.

*****

What do you call a roomful of ghosts?
A bunch of boo-boos.

*****

What do you call a witch who lives at the beach?
A sand witch.

*****

What do you call dead cows that come back to life?
Zombeef.

*****

What do you do with a green monster?
Wait until it ripens.

*****
What do you get when you cross a black cat with a lemon.
A sour-puss.
*****

What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Frostbite.


What do you get when you cross Bambi with a ghost?
Bamboo.

*****

What do you get when you divide the circumference of a pumpkin by its radius?
Pumpkin pi.

*****

What do you give a skeleton for Valentine's Day?
Bone-bones in a heart shaped box.

*****

What does a skeleton orders at a restaurant?
Spare ribs.

*****

What game do ghost like to play?
Peek-a-Boo.

*****

What goes "Ha-ha-ha . . . THUD!"
A monster laughing his head off

*****

What happens when a ghost gets lost in the fog?
He is mist.

*****

What happens when a ghost haunts a theater?
The actors get stage fright.

*****
What instrument do skeletons play?
Trom-BONE.

*****

What is a cannibal's favorite type of TV show?
A celebrity roast.


What is a ghost's favorite desert?
Iced Screams.

*****

What is a ghost's favorite oatmeal?
SCREAM of Wheat.

*****

What is a vampire's favorite holiday?
Fangsgiving.

*****

What is a witch's favorite subject in school?
Spelling.

*****

What is as sharp as a vampires fang?
His other fang.

*****

What is Beethoven doing in his coffin right now?
Decomposing.

*****

What is Dracula's favorite kind of dog?
A blood hound.

*****

What is the tallest building in Transylvania?
The Vampire State Building.
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