Happy Nest Presents...
*I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde
jokes because I know I'm not dumb ...and I also know that
I'm not blonde...... -Dolly Parton-
*I am a marvelous housekeeper.
Every time I leave a man I keep his house. -Zsa Zsa Gabor-
*The executive was interviewing a young
blonde for a position in his company. He wanted to find
out something about her personality so he asked, "If
you could have a conversation with someone, living or
dead, who would it be?" The blonde quickly responded,
"The living one."
*A Russian, an American,
and a Blonde were talking one day. The Russian said,
"We were the first in space!" The American said,
"We were the first on the moon!" The Blonde
said, "So what, we're going to be the first on the
sun!" The Russian and the American looked at each
other and shook their heads. "You can't land on the
sun, you idiot! you'll burn up!" said the Russian.
To which the Blonde replied, "We're not stupid, you
know. we're going at night!"
*A police officer stops a blond for
speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her
license. She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys
would get your act together. Just yesterday you
away my license and then today you expect me to show it
blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It
was her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on
"Science & Nature." Her question was,
"If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name,
can you hear it?" She thought for a time and then
asked, "Is it on or off?"
*The blonde reported for her university
final examination which consists of "yes/no"
type questions. She takes her seat in the
examination hall, then in a fit of inspiration takes her
purse out, removes a coin and starts tossing the coin and
marking the answer sheet-Yes for Heads and No for Tails.
Within half an hour she is all done whereas the rest of
the class is sweating it out. During the last few minutes,
she is seen desperately throwing
the coin, muttering and sweating. The moderator, alarmed, approaches her and
asks what is going on. "I finished the exam in
half and hour. But I'm rechecking my answers."
airline captain was breaking in a very pretty new blonde
stewardess. The route they were flying had a stay-over in
another city, so upon their arrival, the captain showed
the stewardess the best place for airline personnel to
eat, shop and stay overnight. The next morning as
the pilot was preparing the crew for the day's route, he
noticed the new stewardess was missing. He knew
which room she was in at the hotel and called her up wondering what happened to her.
She answered the phone, sobbing, and said she couldn't get
out of her room. "You can't get out of your room?"
the captain asked, "Why not?" The stewardess
replied, "There are only three doors in here,"
she cried, "one is the bathroom, one is the
closet, and one has a sign on it that says, 'Do Not
*A Blonde was down on her
luck. In order to raise some money, she decided to
kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom. She went to the
playground, grabbed a kid, took him behind a tree, and
told him, "I've Kidnapped You." She then
wrote a note saying, "I've Kidnapped Your Kid.
Tomorrow morning, put $10,000 in a paper bag and put it
under the pecan tree next to the slide on the north side
of the playground. Signed, "A Blonde."
Blonde then pinned the note to the kid's shirt and sent
him home to show it to his parents. The next
morning the Blonde checked, and sure enough, a paper bag
was sitting beneath the pecan tree. The Blonde
opened the bag and found the $10,00 with a note that said,
"How could you do this to another Blonde?"
*A blonde went to her
mail box several times before it was even time for the
mailman to make his rounds. A neighbor noticed her
repeated trips to the curb and asked if she was waiting
for a special delivery. Her reply: "My computer
keeps telling me I have mail".
* There were 11 people
hanging onto a rope that came down from a plane. Ten were
blonde, and one was a brunette. They all decided
that one person should get off because if they didn't the
rope would break and everyone would die. No one could
decide who should go, so finally the brunette gave a
really touching speech saying how she would give up her
life to save the others. All of the blondes started
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